Tuesday, January 26, 2010

My how far we've come...

Today was a good day.  I woke up to attend to the laundry and a clean kitchen.  I feel as if each day I am getting stronger.  I can definately tell that the Rituxin infusion has kicked in and the increased prescription of Cellcept is working.  God is good and everyone is rejoicing in my family.  We don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but it looks like we might have finally found the right prescriptions to combat my disease.

I sat down this morning and realized how far Chris and I have come.  It seems like decades ago, but only a few months ago I couldn't get out of bed.  As depressing as this is, I remember one morning in July, where I couldn't roll over as I was so sore, with a fever of 103, this is the day that I remember looking at Chris and saying I would rather be dead.  I know that sounds so depressing, but do remind yourselves that I am on prednisone so my thoughts are more "negative" now.  I have been fortunate to not have many issues when it comes to this, but people have committed suicide on prednisone.  It's a scary drug and I can't wait to get off it.  With that being said, I realized today... wow, look how far I've come.  It's hard to be positive when you're in the moment... i.e. not being able to sit down or getting tired doing laundry. 

At these times I need to remind myself to sit back and reflect... look at where I was.  I continue to pray that I stay on this path of "feeling good."  Not only for me, but for my husband and family.  At times I think this is all worse on them than me, especially Chris.  Our marriage vows showcase so much now... in sickness and in health.  It's hard to believe that we've only been married a year and I half.  It seems like we could be celebrating our 30 year anniversary any day now.  God truly blessed me when he put Chris in my life.  I pray that every female can find a man as special as he is.

A lot of people have asked me if I get angry or ask "why me."  I've pondered this question, as I really haven't had those thoughts, by all means I get frustrated.  But why not me?  I believe God gives you what you can handle... he must really think highly of me :) just kidding.  But although he chose me to go through this ordeal... God also gave me the strong support system of my husband, family and friends, to help me get through this.  Although life has had its speed bumps... and yes even pot holes, Life is still GOOD!  This experience has definately taught me to cherish each day for what it is and to look for the memory in each experience.  I challenge you to do the same! :)  It will definately put a smile on your face. 

Received this picture this weekend.  Its hard to believe our little niece Mia will be 1 in a month.  This definately lifts my spirits!

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